When Two Cultures Meet

Having been together for over 4 years, Noly and I are quite used to each other’s cultural differences and cultural norms. That being said, it is quite funny looking back on things in the past, before we had a fuller understanding of each others cultures, to see how our cultures clashed. I shall list some of these things now!

1. Present giving. I can’t speak for everyone, but in my circles at home, present giving is quite personal. Maybe my sister would look at me and think, “Well, Nadia loves creative things so I’ll give her ….” or, “this one time back in 2002 she said she really likes …… so I’ll get her …..” and ergo, presents are very thought through and personal. This isn’t quite the case here (I think I may have mentioned this in one of my feeling like a gringa posts) as people don’t think through it as much. In fact the other day, someone very unceremoniously told me what they were giving me for Christmas. A definite no go in my culture! Anyways, this made me think of the early days with me and Noly, when I would sometimes be a bit underwhelmed by my birthday present or Christmas present as it wasn’t massively personal and thought through (lol, this makes me seem very ungrateful but it’s just a cultural norm thing as it’s what I’m used to). Thankfully Noly now knows that this is important to me and puts more thought into it. But it’s funny looking back and being like OHHH that’s why that happened!
2. Along a similar kinda line, people don’t wrap presents here! Their equivalent is that when you buy something in a shop and say it’s a present they’ll put it in a brown bag and put a ribbon on it. From my point of view, 90% of the joy of getting a present is ripping the paper off! It does seem to me though that universally, boys seem to be physically incapable of wrapping presents haha. I’m still working on Noly on this one though..! Think I’ve had one present wrapped in the entirety of our four years haha.
3. Another thing they don’t do here is cards! Neither birthday cards nor Christmas cards. I’m not sure why they don’t. I find it a little sad! There’s nothing more satisfying than hearing the soft thump of post hitting the mat when it’s coming up to your birthday! And putting Christmas cards up all around the house. I’ve had a scattering of cards from Noly in our time together. One of which was an interesting choice! In fact, I remember finding it the following year, seeing the front (with a very cartoony horrible picture of a pig and far too much glitter) and thinking to myself “What a horrible card. I bet I’m not still friends with this person any more” and then turned it over and found that it was from Noly! Hahaha.
4. As mentioned many’a times before, in this culture they don’t really plan. I remember times when me and Noly have been in England and Noly’s been like “shall we go out for dinner tonight?” and I’d be like… but Noly?! Mum’s planned the weekly shop and there’s food for tonight! Why didn’t you formally put in this request a week ago?! Whereas here, it’s pretty chill and you could do that much easier as they don’t plan in the same way.
5. I always feel a bit of cabin fever if I’m inside all day, especially if the weather is nice outside, whereas it’s Noly’s dream to be inside all day (weird huh?). I genuinely think this is because at home, if the sun comes out for five mins it’s like, quick!! Can’t miss this! And so if I don’t go outside when it’s sunny I feel like I’m missing my only chance. Whereas it’s much warmer here and sunnier a lot of the time so people don’t get that so much.
6. Similarly, if we go out to a cafe most of the time I will prefer to sit outside in the fresh air, whereas Noly favours the (freezing cold) air conditioned inside bit.
7. Because this culture is more of a late-night culture, people don’t tend to go out and do things until much later. I actually can’t stand waiting until 3/4pm to go out as at home I’ll probably be starting to wind back home around then (lol, how wild am I?). Well maybe a little later, 5/6 ish. So here I find that super difficult! And prefer getting up and cracking on with my day! This one is an ongoing thing where both me and Nolz have to compromise on this, otherwise we have a constantly grumpy Nadz or a constantly grumpy Nolz.
8. In my culture, depending on the context, it’s pretty rude to be late. I actually always used to be late, maybe by 5/10 mins but not more than that, which I could get away with. In recent years I’d perfected the way to be on time (you have to give yourself 5 mins to faff around to actually leave the house! Grab ya bag, find ya keys, assess the weather etc. And also factor in another 5 mins for something to take longer than you expected. #LifetipsfromNadia) and so would sometimes get super frustrated with Noly who, was incapable of arriving on time. Again, this comes down to culture. Here, if you say to meet at 7, people will start rocking up from around 7.30. And, people factor this in! So they’ll say to arrive at 7, knowing people will arrive at 7.30. (Bizzare. Why not just say to arrive at 7.30 in the first place and everyone arrive on time? Weird). Anyways, I’ve now learned to do the same with Noly and tell him half an hour earlier than what I really mean!

I’m sure there are more things than this about our two cultures clashing, but these are all the things that come to me right now! Over and out.